THE EFFECTIVE PROBLEMSOLVER #085
When I first got into systems change work, I thought expertise, vision, and resources were everything.
I assumed that with the right data, a robust strategy, and some big grant money, I could bring big ideas to life.
I was armed with a good understanding of systems thinking, confident that I could crack the code on complex problems.
But time and experience taught me a hard lesson: even the most well-crafted plan and deep understanding of a system will ultimately falter if they’re not backed by real relationships with the people affected.
In today’s newsletter, we’re exploring an often-overlooked truth in systems change work:
no matter how much you know, how well-intentioned you are, or how much funding you secure—none of it matters if you can’t build and sustain meaningful 1:1 relationships.
In fact, relationships are often the real catalyst for progress in a way that technical expertise alone simply can’t be.
Let’s dive in to explore 3 reasons why that is, and then I’ll give you 4 practical tips to cultivate deeper relationships.
1. Expertise Alone Isn’t Enough
Picture the typical launch of a major social initiative.
A team assembles, brimming with expertise, armed with comprehensive data, and convinced that they have a winning solution.
But when the initiative meets the real world, it flounders.
Why?
Because systems don’t respond to data or technical expertise alone—they respond to the people navigating them.
Without strong relationships with people who live, breathe, and work in the system every day, even the smartest plan struggles to take root.
Expertise, tools, and good intentions are all well and good, but they won’t go far without trust.
Real impact starts when people see a commitment to building trust and know they’re heard.
Whether it’s environmental justice, housing, or education reform, the magic of systems change is often less about the knowledge we bring and more about the trust we build through 1:1 relationships with those on the ground.
These are the people who know the terrain and can make or break a change effort.
2. Connections as the True “Change Catalyst”
Imagine you’re involved in addressing neighborhood crime.
Data and crime statistics are in place, policing resources are funded, and a public safety initiative has been designed.
But, in practice, reducing crime often boils down to the strength of 1:1 relationships between officers and community members.
Officers who build trust through regular engagement—by knowing names, hearing stories, and responding to neighborhood concerns—open up direct lines of influence that no number of metrics or enforcement strategies can replicate.
These relationships bridge the gap between formal plans and community needs.
Officers gain insights from residents that uncover the true roots of issues, while residents come to see officers as allies rather than authority figures.
In systems problems like neighborhood safety, relationships become a catalyst that generates trust, context, and an adaptability that top-down strategies alone can’t achieve.
3. Connectors Are The Changemaking Superheros
The most effective changemakers aren’t necessarily the smartest people in the room, nor are they usually the ones at the helm of big organizations.
Instead, they’re often the serial networkers—the “connectors” who serve as the glue across sectors, building bridges and brokering agreements among diverse, sometimes adversarial, stakeholders.
These individuals rarely seek the spotlight; they’re the unsung heroes who enable real progress by cultivating trust, collaboration, and understanding behind the scenes.
This networker role is powerful because it magnifies the strengths of others.
Through relationships, these changemakers align people with complementary skills, creating momentum that no single organization or leader could achieve alone.
And when successes come, they’re quick to share the credit, making sure the team shines as a whole.
Relationships, in their hands, become the quiet yet formidable force that amplifies all other resources and expertise within the system, turning isolated efforts into collective impact.
Practical Tips to Build High-Impact 1:1 Relationships
- Be Intentional About Who You Build With
Not all relationships are created equal. Focus your time and energy on key stakeholders who hold real leverage within the system. These might not always be the most obvious leaders or high-ranking officials; sometimes, the most influential players operate behind the scenes. Invest in people who can influence decisions, resources, or narratives. - Lead with Curiosity, Not an Agenda
People can sense when you’re engaging with them because you want something. Instead, build relationships by genuinely trying to understand the other person’s role, motivations, and constraints. Ask questions. Be curious. What do they need to feel successful? What challenges are they up against? The more you understand their world, the more you can align your goals with theirs—and the more likely they are to support your efforts. - Be Consistent and Follow Up
Relationships aren’t built in a single meeting or phone call. They require ongoing attention. Follow up regularly—not just when you need something, but to check in on their work, offer support, or share relevant insights. Consistency over time is what turns an acquaintance into an ally. - Go Deep, Not Wide
Rather than trying to meet everyone in the room at your next event, focus on having meaningful conversations with a few key people. You can expand your network later, but depth will always serve you better than breadth in the long run.
The Long Game of Influence
Here’s the kicker: no matter how many reports or plans you draft, real change in systems isn’t about control—it’s about influence.
And influence?
That’s just a fancy word for being able to build real connections and keep them alive long enough to matter.
It’s what turns knowledge into impact, and, let’s face it, it’s what keeps us sane when everything else is a moving target.
So, let go of the illusion that you can mastermind every outcome. Instead, play the long game of relationship-building: show up, listen, and keep showing up.
It might not make you the “expert” in the room, but it’ll make you the one people trust.
And when people trust you?
That’s when change really takes root—planned or not.
See you in two weeks.