your good intentions are selfish

Your Good Intentions Are Selfish (Here’s How to Actually Help)

THE EFFECTIVE PROBLEMSOLVER #078

In our earnest quest to do good and make a positive impact on the world, many of us often fall into the trap of centering ourselves as changemakers. 

We start with the best of intentions, hoping to solve significant issues, but sometimes we prioritize “acting as a good person” over what is genuinely effective for those experiencing the problem. 

This well-meaning but misguided approach can lead to actions that make us feel virtuous rather than actually solving the issue at hand.

Let’s dive in by examining a real-world debate over where to locate a large homeless shelter. Then I’ll give you 3 tips for how to move from thinking about “me, me, me” to problem-solving effectiveness.

How do I feel about a homeless shelter moving in next door?

Recently there was a proposal to move a large homeless shelter into my residential neighborhood. 

Immediately, residents seemed to divide into two camps. 

On one side, there were those who supported the shelter, believing it would demonstrate their commitment to being good neighbors and doing their part to address homelessness. 

On the other side, there were those who opposed it, fearing the changes it might bring to our neighborhood. 

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

But both sides, despite their differing stances, were prioritizing their personal desires over the core question: 

"Will this new shelter’s location and approach be effective in treating or reducing homelessness?"

When we center our actions on how they reflect on us as individuals—either as compassionate or as protectors of our community—we lose sight of the actual problem. 

The effectiveness of a homeless shelter, for example, should be evaluated based on its ability to provide necessary services, integrate individuals back into society, and reduce homelessness, not on how it makes us feel about ourselves.

So, how can we in the social sector shift our focus from personalizing the problem to prioritizing problem-solving effectiveness? 

Here are three tips:

1. Ask the Right Questions

Instead of asking, “How does this action make me look?”, focus on the bigger picture. 

Questions like “What do the people experiencing the problem need?” and “What are the most effective solutions according to evidence and expert advice?” should guide your actions. 

For instance, in the case of the homeless shelter, research whether the proposed location is accessible to those in need, whether it has the necessary facilities, and how it fits into the broader strategy to combat homelessness.

2. Engage with the Affected Community

Often, well-intentioned efforts fail because they do not include input from those impacted by the problem. 

Make it a priority to listen to and collaborate with the people who are experiencing the issue directly or indirectly. Their insights are invaluable in creating solutions that are practical and effective. 

For the homeless shelter, this means engaging with homeless individuals and service providers to understand what they truly need and what location would serve them best. Similarly, engaging neighbors to explore the impact of the shelter on the neighborhood could help troubleshoot likely problems before they arise.

3. Measure Impact, Not Intentions

Good intentions are not enough. Measure the success of your actions based on tangible outcomes rather than the satisfaction of having done something. 

Establish clear metrics to assess whether your efforts are making a real difference. 

For example, explore how successful other area homeless shelters have been in transitioning residents into stable housing. These metrics, more than intentions alone, will give a sense of how well a new shelter may (or may not) contribute to a successful regional approach to reducing homelessness.

Beyond seeming good

By focusing on the effectiveness of our actions rather than how they reflect on us personally, we can create meaningful change. 

Let’s move beyond the desire to be seen as good people and instead strive to be effective problem solvers. 

After all, the goal is not to be heroes in our own stories but to genuinely improve the lives of others and tackle the issues that matter most.

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Whenever you’re ready, there are two ways I can help you:

I’m a strategic advisor for the toughest societal problems like poverty, crime and homelessness. People come to me when they want to stop spinning their wheels and get transformative, systems-level change.

I’m a coach for emerging and executive leaders in the social and public sectors who want to make progress on their biggest goals and challenges.

Let’s find out how I can help you become transformational.